Or as the saying goes “Silence is the best reply to a fool”
I have been renting a flat in somebody’s garden for over 7 years. In all this time I lived there very peacefully. The property consists of 2 flats and a house. The problem started when the house was rented out.
The renters of the house consisted of 1 yappy dog, two young boys being home schooled and the noisiest parents ever.
The boys were left unsupervised the whole day and I still don’t know what they did or did not do all day, but it certainly was not school work. The noise that emanated from those two would have broken noise levels never heared off.
The dog was just left to its own devices. Being bored it just barked. Period.
The parents used to come home from work, throw the dog out, shut the door and continued partying or whatever it was they were doing. Again the noise would have broken records. The dog barked and scratched at the back door non-stop.
I stay in one flat, the owner of the house’s father and mother in law in the other flat and the very noisy couple, kids and the dog in the house.
For some reason or other this noisy couple could make as much noise as they liked and poor me was never allowed to say anything about the noise. For instance they played their TV so loud that my windows rattled.
Then one day the “father in law” had a go at me, and I got blamed for everything that was wrong in the neighbourhood. If I say everything I mean everything. I feel almost I got blamed for what happened, or has gone wrong in the whole of this small city. Yes, it was as bad as that!
Shocked is not the right word. Flabbergasted you name it I was it. I stood there and allowed this man to insult me. Luckily the day before I received a whatsapp message that was so funny and so stupid I just wanted to share it with everybody. I cannot remember when last I laughed so much. But my inner voice - intuition, kept saying to me do not respond!
Standing there, being insulted and blamed for things I did not even know happened, I kept saying to myself “do not respond”. I walked away without saying a word.
Was I hurt? Was I upset? The answer is yes to everything. This touched me deeply. If I had done something wrong I would have been first to apologise, but too blamed for things I knew nothing about, that really hurt.
If he had an issue with me and he discussed this with me “only” I would have understood, but no he then discussed this whole matter with the tenant, the noisy one. Now this upset and annoyed me immensely. Who gave him the right to discuss this private matter with this other tenant?
Luckily for me my friend Heather whom I have known for a while talked to me and helped me overcome this whole issue, thank you Heather.
I am now again on speaking terms this gentleman and even though I am still peeved that he discussed this matter with the other tenant. In many ways I am glad it happened as I do not have to be friends with this couple anymore and in many ways I am sad that this old man ended up being such a fool!!
So remember never argue with a fool!!
First published 7/8/2019
Comments from when first published
8/28/2019 07:33:30 amI think today is the best time to write anything about any random subjects. I wasn't inlove or grieving about anything. If I am in love I keep writing about how in love I was. When I am bitter my chest hurts too much as I write. I guess today is going to be neutral. I feel more normal. I hate that I can never really tell when anxiety is going to kick in but everytime it does, the only thing I know is it's going to be another suicide tuesday if I try to combat it with sugar.
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9/14/2019 08:50:01 amTell me my liege. Where did I go wrong? All I wanted is to love someone. I guess this thing called love is always never right. We may all claim that we knew this deep in our hearts. We knew that love is only real if you know how to let go. Yet for some reason, the pain of being alone hurts like hell. The defeated feeling of not being loved back never leaves. Come to think of it. This had been your second chance already. If someone wants to keep you, she will do everything in her power to make sure she stays.
So how did I develop kidney disease?
Now that is the million dollar question. I used to be very active and walked 3 times a week and over weekends walked to the cross on the mountain. The cross used to be diagonally above the tower here on the Outeniqua mountains.
I remember the doctor at the time said there is blood in my urine, but it is okay as I am so active, but slowly over a period of time the walking slowed down until I just stopped walking.
This was when I was diagnosed with heart failure with less than 6 months to live, but this is another story.
I had to go to the local hospital for heart function tests and on discharge was phoned by the specialist who asked me these weird questions about my kidneys. He asked me over and over the same questions. I ended up in Groote Schuur Hospital where I stayed for 2 months and I had an Aortic Valve replacement. The renal department supported me through the operation and the recovery afterwards.
It was not very long after this open heart surgery that I was told I have 5 years with my kidneys as they were deteriorating fast. Thanks to the care of the doctors at the local hospital I was approved for peritoneal dialysis and had to have the Tenckhoff catheter fitted.
A PD catheter (sometimes called a Tenckhoff catheter) is a special tube that is inserted into your abdominal cavity (space around the organs within your tummy). ... You will need to have an operation to insert your PD catheter.
I had the catheter fitted May 2015, and I attach myself to a bag 4 times a day every day. Luckily I do look after myself and have been given permission to miss a whole day of dialysis, so Saturday mornings is me time. It is wonderful to just be. I make sure I take full advantage of this “free” morning. This still leaves me with 2 bags I can “miss” during the week.
I have had to become an expert at organising my life. I need supplies for home and work. When I am at work (attached to the bag) I very often have to deal with customers. I am unable to move around as I am supposed to be in a sterile environment and have discovered customers come in 3 distinct types. The first look at me the bags and are out of here like a dose of salts. The next lot asks me all sorts of questions the why and how and really seem interested in what I am doing.
The third are the absolutely amazing ones. Strangers walk in here, look at the bags, the set up; ask me a few pertinent questions and without batting an eyelid offer me a kidney.
I have to watch what I eat and am on a fluid restricted diet. Yes tomato sauce is classed as a fluid.
The two things I miss most being on Peritoneal Dialysis is having a proper cup of tea…you know those cups that can hold half a bottle of wine…one of those. I now seek out the smallest cup, ensure my tea is piping hot and sip this. Very sad really!
Then there is swimming in the sea. The nephrologist Dr Vermeulen has now given me permission to swim providing the sea looks clean, but I am so wary of getting infection. I just want to float in the sea without a care in world!
A special thanks to the staff of the renal department George Provincial hospital. Thank you for holding my hand, supporting me and always being there for me. Dr Alda Vermeulen - thank you.
End of part 2
First published 2/21/2019
Comment from when first published
7/19/2019 10:20:00 amI cringe at the idea of having someone else aside from my wife. She may not be perfect but I can see she is trying her best. The only problem did not really come from her. Maybe not. I don't know. Maybe I am always just very quick to forget. I don't remember anymore why I hate her but my feeling is so real and it never leaves me even just a few seconds. I really hate how she doesn't really love me. Maybe I am wrong. I don't t know anymore. I just keep fighting.
What is kidney failure?
Kidney failure, also known as end-stage kidney disease, is a medical condition in which the kidneys no longer function. ... Causes of acute kidney failure include low blood pressure, blockage of the urinary tract, certain medications, muscle breakdown, and hemolytic uremic syndrome.
According to the kidney specialist I have Berger’s disease.
IgA nephropathy, also known as Berger's disease, is a kidney disease that occurs when IgA deposits build up in the kidneys, causing inflammation that damages kidney tissues. IgA is an antibody—a protein made by the immune system to protect the body from foreign substances such as bacteria or viruses.
I am fortunate to be able to do peritoneal dialysis and I attach myself to a bag every four hours, every day. I start at 6 am and finish at 10pm. So at 6am, 10am, 2pm and 6pm I stop what I do – scrub and sterilise my hands, sterilise the workspace and perform this function. At 10pm I drain out the 6pm liquid and sleep dry. The next day at 6am I start again. This is done every day!! I have been on peritoneal dialysis since May 2015.
Peritoneal dialysis (per-ih-toe-NEE-ul die-AL-uh-sis) is a way to remove waste products from your blood when your kidneys can no longer do the job adequately. A cleansing fluid flows through a tube (catheter) into part of your abdomen and filters waste products from your blood.
I am determined to heal myself from kidney disease and I read a very interesting book by Caroline Myss about healing and why we don’t heal….and written in this book someone asked her for help to heal his leg. She said why don’t you go into your leg and heal yourself. Which is what he did. I realised I had to get into my kidneys and work at repairing and healing the nephrons. Each kidney has about a million nephrons.
A nephron is the basic unit of structure in the kidney. A nephron is used separate to water, ions and small molecules from the blood, filter out wastes and toxins, and return needed molecules to the blood. The nephron functions through ultrafiltration
I enjoyed working on my nephrons. I even went into my bone marrow and instructed it to make red blood cells. I made peace with the fact that to heal a million nephrons (one kidney) it would take a long time, until I spoke to someone about this healing I was doing!! She said to me, “you are doing this all wrong". "You must see your kidneys as being healed”.
Types of dialysis
There are two kinds of dialysis. In hemodialysis, blood is pumped out of your body to an artificial kidney machine, and returned to your body by tubes that connect you to the machine. In peritoneal dialysis, the inside lining of your own belly acts as a natural filter.
Many thanks Google for all the terminology used.
End on part one…
First published 2/1/2019
Comments from when first published
10/21/2019 02:24:21 amSugar has been the number one killer in the world lately. Before, people think that animal fats and red meat is the main cause of all diseases. Anything which is not consumed in moderation is bad for you. Sugar is also one unexpected cause of most of the devastating kidney failure cases in the whole world. Sugary drinks mainly are to blame. Sometimes you really have to learn to read the labels even if the product claims there's no sugar added. There could be another form of legal sugar in it that ends in "..ose" when spelled like fructose, glucose and such.
The first stage of healing: - I truly believe to heal you need to forgive. You need to forgive everyone who has ever hurt or harmed you. You need to ask for forgiveness for everything you have ever done to hurt or harm another. You need to forgive yourself for everything you have ever done to harm or hurt another.
This is the 3 stages of forgiveness. BUT this is where it can get difficult for some!
Surely it is not right forgiving someone when they hurt you really badly. Maybe those people you hurt unintentionally really deserved it. Can you forgive everybody except that one person like your mother in law for example?
Does it mean you condone what they have done when you forgive them?
This list can go on and on and will be part of another story but for now I want to introduce the first stage of healing. For healing and forgiveness too take place you need to get all these issues out of your system.
This is what I suggest you do. Get a pad / book anything you feel comfortable writing on, a pen or pencil and write. It does not matter what you write or how you write as long as you write. Make a list of topics you want to write about. Write out your anger, the disappointments, the sadness whatever comes to mind - just write.
Now the secret here is to get all these issues out of your head and onto paper, if you read what you have written you place all this information back “into you”!
When you are done writing – don’t read it – just tear up the pages and burn it. Now take the ashes and scatter them in the wind. This is the quickest and easiest way to get rid of issues that are worrying you. Remember the other party had long forgotten about these.
Some problems may need more time so you may have to write them out 3 or even 4 times – it does not matter. Just write.
Don’t read what you have written, tear it up, burn it and scatter the ashes in the wind. You are giving a clear message to the universe you are done with this issue/problem.
You will find your writing will slow down, the anger will dissipate and you will move onto the second stage of healing by gracefully accept the forgiveness decree! (I found this Forgiveness Decree on Diana Cooper’s website). http://www.dianacooper.com/exercises-and-meditation/decrees-mantras/#decrees
I forgive everyone who has ever hurt or harmed me, consciously or unconsciously, in this lifetime or any other, in this universe, dimension, plane or level of existence or any other.
I offer them grace.
I ask forgiveness for everything I have ever done to hurt or harm another, consciously or unconsciously, in this lifetime or any other, in this universe, dimension, plane or level of existence or any other.
I ask for grace.
I forgive myself for everything I have ever done to hurt or harm another,
consciously or unconsciously, in this lifetime or any other, in this universe, dimension, plane or level of existence or any other.
I accept grace.
I am free. All chains and restrictions fall from me. I stand in my full power as a master.
So be it. It is done.
I am available to assist you on your healing journey. You just have to contact me. See my website www.reneefraserbrown.co.za or email me email@example.com
First published 10/24/2018
Comments from when first published.
1/25/2019 07:18:53 am
The first stage of healing will always be acceptance. It's not enough that you only believe that you will get better. What if you did not? Your soul would have been crushed prematurely by falling from great expectations. It's better to start on a clean slate with zero idea of possibilities and accepting that whatever happens will always be and will be the best for you because it's God's will and he will never give you anything less than what is due. It's not even because you deserved something, even if you feel you know a lot already, there are things here on Earth that we just can't explain easily.
Renee Fraser Brown
1/25/2019 10:25:07 amI do agree with you but as I do a lot of readings for people who have already accepted this.
My task is to make it easy for them to accept and forgive.
And again there is so many ways of forgiveness. The important thing is to forgive. Otherwise you carry this burden with you forever.
No, I do not talk to dead people and I’d prefer dead people not to talk to me, but when you open the door the messages from the departed just flows in, which can be a bit disconcerting.
Messages from departed loved ones are normally very short and to the point and can be very healing like what happened the other day in Pick and Pay a local grocery store. I was waiting in the queue and saw an employee crying but very discreetly. I went up to here and just gave her a hug and she said her daughter passed two months ago and before I could say anything else the words “Please tell my mum I want to speak to her” came forth. This is how I find my messages come through. I suggested she makes herself a cup of tea and get talking to her daughter.
Often a departed soul does not realised his or her time has on this earth has come to an end and they wander about like lost souls. I am sure they still getup in the morning, go to work etc. Those types of souls are very difficult to contact and they are often upset at being interrupted. Recently I was asked to contact someone and firstly you never know who is going to come through and secondly you have no idea what message is going to come through. So I was not surprised when I received this message “I am very busy, working” What are you working on? I am working on the trees”. This is not what the client wanted to hear but this was the message I received.
You do not know who is going to come through so to ask for a specific person can also cause problems. You want to assist the client, but you cannot just conjure up a departed person, and I rather not open the door too wide.
I have been in contact with Maddie the little girl who disappeared in Spain in 2007and she has been with me since 2009. She cried inconsolably at the time and said quite a few interesting things, which I will never repeat as this was her wish. It is now more than 10 years later since she disappeared and I am pleased to say she is no longer crying. I hear only two words from her which is “proof” and “steeple”. So before I get sued by her parents; this is my opinion and I am allowed to express it….or something like it.
For what it is worth I admire people like the Long Island Medium Theresa Caputo. It takes a lot of courage to do what she does. Then from John Edward another famous medium I learned a valuable lesson as he says when a loved one has passed all you can be for the surviving spouse/partner is to be there for him or her.
When John Edwards does his famous readings in front of all those people he also receives a short message so I am now in the process of updating my code of ethics which you can read here. http://www.reneefraserbrown.co.za/code-of-ethics.html
I know I have more to say on this topic but that will be another story
First published 9/19/2018
Not long after I moved into my flat I was told by a close friend that there is an elderly gentleman who is not very happy I am staying here. He suggested that I leave or try my best to rid my flat of this presence.
I lit some candles, incense and burned Mpepo, opened my front door and instructed this person to leave immediately. I performed this ritual more than once.
A few months later the couple, who also rents a flat on the same property, told me about this old man who is living in their bedroom and sleeps on their bed. I said nothing as I did not want this old man returning to my flat oh no!
The owners of the property came back from overseas, and started doing some mayor building work, walls were knocked down and we talk large scale alterations here. With all this going on the talk between the owners and the elderly couple was all about the old man who seems to be everywhere.
Now 5 months later; the building work is still ongoing and the owners have gone off overseas to another country all together.
Arriving home early one afternoon I walked through the door and for no reason at all started crying. The uncomfortable feeling would not go away. It felt like being in a vacuum. I was very scared and I left as fast as I could. After a while I forced myself to return home and luckily the presence was no longer there.
Venturing out to the main building where most of the alterations are taking place I look, turn around and leave very promptly. I never feel welcome there. Something is chasing me away.
Not two weeks later I felt uncomfortable again in my flat but by this time I knew what I was up against. I used some sea salt and stirred two large tablespoons into a glass of water and left this glass in a prominent place. This is the result after 24 hours. I emptied this and repeated the process. See the something in bottom of the glass.
The building work; this is the weird part. A project is started but not finished. A wall is painted and lo and behold it needs painting again. The plumber fix a tap, tomorrow it needs fixing again, just one thing after another.
We have subsequently discovered that the house was originally built by an elderly gentleman who I presume is steaming mad at the alterations taking place.
The Sea Salt; here is 3 ways to use sea salt for protection
1. Fill a glass with water and stir in some sea salt. Leave in a prominent place, or where you feel a presence, or feel uncomfortable. Leave in place for 24 hours. Drain the liquid. Rinse out glass and start all over again.
2. Use sea salt and sprinkle all around your property. Be generous about it. This is always a good way to protect your home.
3. Sprinkle salt in the corners of the room. It may be a good idea to place the salt in a small flat container to contain it, which will make cleaning it up much easier.
Then you can always use holy water to protect your home, but more of this later
First published 9/5/2018
Being a Medium certainly has its ups and downs and you need to be mentally strong to stop the continuous non-stop interference by the spirit world.
I wear an invisible hat for protection, and I know that I am safe as I ground and protect myself. The hat stays on always.
Sometimes messages do come through regardless of the fact that I wear this hat that is so profound that I cannot ignore it. This is why I took notice of what was happening when I felt the presence of a young man. I could see him and hear him.
This young man was in an accident. He was knocked of his bicycle by a taxi. He passed at the scene of the accident. He identified himself and asked me to please give a message to his wife. He was newly married. He said please tell her that I love her. I told him that she knows that; you will have to give me a message that only she will understand. That is when he said “Please tell her not to forget about the ring”.
This accident happened in 2013 and I have been keeping this message safe as I had no way of passing this message on. Somewhere someone out there knows this family. Please pass this forward. Many thanks
The cyclist – Burry Stander.
First published 16 August 2018
Comments from first publication
www.magicreviews.org/ - 10/13/2018
We can't really tell when a person is going to die. You could be in some list of people who have a terminal illness but if the universe wants you to live an extra week or another year, there is nothing your sick body can do. This is why suicide is unacceptable. It's like letting another entity take control. Even if we are in deep pain, we are still not the one supposed to decide when to end things or not. There was a time when society thought this should be like illegal. Nowadays, it is viewed as a disease and some even make money from it.
bestessays.com review - 5/5/2019
I feel ugly today. That and I think it had been like this for weeks now. I also have evidence to prove that it has been occuring on and off in the last twenty years or more. I guess there maybe days when I feel pretty but it's very small in number compared to the days I want to hang myself each time I look at the mirror because I feel so rotten and ugly. Yes. I feel rotten. Can you believe that? It might sound crazy but it's real and I feel like a dying rose. Whatever that meant figuratively, I don't really know.
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I am not sure what I am doing here on Earth. It seems everywhere I look, there's just so much pain and suffering. Did I earn this? Well maybe I chose this. Maybe it's more difficult to look at luckier people. If you see them happy and celebrating and you are not part of the celebrations, maybe you are also in pain. If you are the rich one and if you are celebrating, do you honestly feel good? I guess it's natural to feel sorry for the less privileged and you just want to find little ways to help as if you have been there. Maybe you have been there in your past life.
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I used to think meditation might be good for me. They say it's going to calm my heart and clear my head. I guess I get a little slightly different effect from it. I became more sensitive to things we can't see. I had to stop before I might accidentally open my third eye. I am not sure if it's the same with others but I am totally scared. I guess it's not for me. I am no psychic and I don't want to be one. I don't belong to that category. I feel I am overly sensitive to my surroundings and I might accidentally offend the unseen.
Earlier this week the boss, and may God bless his soul, was walking around here saying how the customers only want to speak to him as he is so efficient and superior. I knew he was just having a go at me, and I don’t have to tell you anything about the male ego. So you can imagine what went on here.
Not 30 minutes later “the boss” was sitting at the computer and I asked him to create an invoice in Quickbooks.
He opened the invoice, entered the customer’s name, entered the line of sales, realised he made a mistake with the entry, deleted the entry, which is now zero, paid this amount, so invoice with no sales listed is now paid, printed it and then he deleted the invoice.
Even Quickbooks would be impressed with what he had done here and I have a copy of the invoice as proof.
Now that is what you call karma in action!!
And me – I just smiled.
First published 3 August 2018
As we all know procrastination is such a useful excuse. Just one more program to watch, just one more article to read no wait, let’s read a book…that’s better.
I have perfected the term procrastination. Defer, postpone, stall, adjourn and putting off all until tomorrow or even the next day or even the day after.
Never do today what you can put off until tomorrow.
Procrastination is what helped me when I was diagnosed with Kidney failure (that is another story) and instead of speaking to my family in my highly emotional state, I deferred by playing a game on my phone non-stop for about two weeks, regardless of the fact that at the time I knew a very toxic “friend”, and that is another story, who insisted I talk to my family. She would phone me late at night, first thing in the morning, 10 o clock, 2 o clock….you get the idea, continuous non-stop badgering, which I duly ignored as I was way too busy doing other things.
When I calmed down I sat my family down and spoke to them. I was calm, factual and yes it was difficult but I did it.
So being a procrastinator has been hugely beneficial as it has taught me to just be.
First published 1 August 2018
Which is why I am now going to follow the Egyptian god of writing, manifestation, astronomy and esoteric arts, Thoth who says don't worry about punctuation, grammar or spelling just express your thoughts and feelings as they flow into your mind and body.
As a clairvoyant and psychic medium I do occasionally go for a reading and the "they" are some of the wonderful people I have met during the years who have given me wonderful insight into my life. The latest was just two months ago. The writing issue was the main topic on the table. So who am I to ignore the call?
The next instalment will be about the Queen of Procrastination.....and we all know who that is.
First published 27/7/2018